Ways to Thanks-giving

When I was in Divinity School, I had a friend who hosted Thanksgiving. She gathered up many of us who were not away for the holiday for an incredible meal. Before eating, we all sat down and shared our gratitude. This could take almost an hour as each person shared an incredible list of thankfulness. (In fact, one year, I brought a written list so I wouldn’t forget anything!)

The spirit of the practice was meditative, as each person took as long as necessary to say whatever they needed while deliciously conjuring up the sources of their joy. While we waited to eat our feast, we fed upon true spiritual food. I can still remember the feeling of that full table, candles lit (food waiting in the oven to stay warm), surrounded by the faces of my friends. The atmosphere changed as we recited all our blessings. Just as the smells of the dishes filled the air, the gratitude had an aroma, a sweetness that enveloped the room.

I do miss that ritual. Now, with children hungry and tired and impatient and young, we scramble to say a quick thank you before we dive in, or we dive in first and give thanks while we eat. Generally, there is chaos, not meditation, and I often eat quickly so I can hustle the cranky baby up to bed.

I like the practice of sinking myself deeply into gratitude. And I like to see what comes up as a result. For me, one of the direct results of feeling blessed is the urge to bless others. Again, though, I come up with a stumbling block. I used to be able to spend hours on projects, on service, giving my time to others. With three small children and household and work demands, I sometimes feel I don’t have enough time even for us. This feels awful. I want to give a return for the bounty I have been given.

I know, however, that there are seasons to one’s life. Having young children doesn’t lend itself well to many and in-depth service projects. Which is why I spend a lot of time brainstorming small ways that I can be a blessing to others. I want to share these with you.

And, as tomorrow is the biggest shopping day of the season, I want to share them in the spirit of genuine giving—the sort that can be done even for those of us who may have little money and—sometimes!—little time.

Some little ideas for giving thanks back:

Call someone. Anyone is fine. Maybe someone who has gone through a hard time, lost a spouse or a parent or a child. Tell them you are thinking of them and loving them.

Send a card. Fill it with loving thoughts and words. Send it to someone who may not get much mail.

Cook a meal for a busy person, a parent, someone who works long hours, someone who doesn’t like to cook, or doesn’t often get home cooked meals. Drop it off. Or cook a meal and invite a friend over.

Pray to be helpful. Ask the Divine Spirit to put people in your path who you can help with your abilities and gifts—whatever they may be.

Hug someone, or many people, even if it feels a little awkward. Do you know that some people don’t get hugged at all! Find one of those people, and even if it is hard, hug.

Forgive your family members and relatives. A good Thanksgiving ritual. No need to do it out loud or make a big deal of it. Silently forgive while you share food by sending love.

Pray. Think of those who are hurting and see them well, whole, healthy and at peace.

Bypass the food bank. If you know someone in your community who goes without, and you know where they live, leave food for them, or money, or a small gift, like a gas card from the store.

Smile, especially when you don’t feel like it, and especially at those who may be frowning. You can think of this in the cyber world too. Put something uplifting on Facebook or another medium you use. Use technology to encourage.

Invite someone for a walk. Walks in beautiful places are the perfect, free gift. When the weather is nice, you can walk and share a picnic.

What ideas do you have?

Rev. Sam Wilde